The Mommy Tax
This essay was pretty upsetting to read because it actually put a price tag on what women give up in order to be mothers. It seems so unfair to punish women for doing their natural role of bearing and raising children. On the flip side, women who choose to not have children are judged in a negative way and they seem selfish. So no woman can win at this game.
I was most struck by the idea that well-educated, high income women pay the highest mommy tax when they have children; which is interesting considering that the children raised by such mothers will have the greatest opportunities in life. Critenden argues that one of the greatest problems is that many companies do not give paid maternity leave. I agree with that but I also think this problem extends beyond the few months after giving birth. Just because a baby is four months old doesn’t mean that a mother can easily go back to work. Breastfeeding can extend well past that point and I think that many mothers would prefer to be the one taking care of their baby rather than another caregiver like a nanny or day-care center.
I think another issue that Critenden is getting at but doesn’t directly say is that, in general, employers consider parents who limit working time/responsibilities in order to be parents are worse workers and deserve to be paid less. Doesn’t the fact that a parent cares about their child enough to take time away from work show that they are a responsible, dependable person? Work shouldn’t be measured in the quantity of hours logged at the office, it should be measured in the quality of one’s work.
When Critenden looks at American and British social structure surrounding working mothers compared to working mothers in France and Sweden, we see that a better option is actually possible. Universal health care and pre-school make a huge difference for working mothers. I think the comparison also shows the contrast in the ideologies surrounding work in these different cultures. In America people are always stressed and trying to make more money and they never have enough time in the day. In many European countries, people take two hour lunch breaks, they have six weeks of vacation in the summer, and they seem to live at a slightly slower, more relaxed pace. And their lives don’t seem any less rich than ours. I wish that American society could take a few cues from Europeans but its hard because you don’t want to look like a slacker next to your co-worker who embraces this fast-paced ideology.
Maid to Order
I actually read Barbara Ehrenreich’s book Nickel and Dimed for my Junior year in high school English class. At the time I thought it was really boring and that she was a complainer who just wanted to make the companies she worked for look bad. Now I have a totally different perspective on the subject. I was really interested in her comment that housework is really all about power. Housework is degrading because it is part of a degrading relationship where the dominant person makes a mess that the other will clean up. It is a silent and intimate form of degredation.
My family has cleaners that come to our home every two weeks and they spend a couple hours going through each room to do a thorough cleaning that is more extensive that what my family members do on a regular basis. I actually get embarrassed when it comes up in conversation that my family hires cleaners. Because we don’t actually NEED the help, but my parents choose to hire them because it’s a option to make our lives easier. But like Ehrenreich says, its awkward to have people cleaning your home. Bedrooms and bathrooms are private, intimate spaces
During this reading I was thinking to myself, “what about the children in a household? Why isn’t she mentioning the work that they could do?” Towards the end she mentions that children used to be a help around the house but today they are too busy with school and after-school activities. I would have to argue that those things do not take up so much time that a child can’t load the dishwasher after dinner. I have been doing chores around my house since I was about 7 or 8 and I gained more responsibilities as I got older. I didn’t stop helping around the house all together just because I had tennis lessons for two hours in the afternoons. I think each family has different schedules and needs but I think it is important for children to learn housework and to help their parents, especially because the most work is a product of the children (dirty clothes, dishes, dirty floors, etc.)Even though I hated doing the dishes or folding the laundry when I was younger, I’m glad that I learned how to do them because now they are second nature. I’m confident that when I live in my own apartment that I will be able to take care of it and maintain a clean living space.
My last thought is that some people may argue that women are just better at cleaning and that’s why the wife does the housework instead of the husband. However, housework skills are not something that women can do better than men. Women are just taught/expected to do the work and men never learn or bother to learn how to do the work. Obviously not all men ignore housework, but on average, women do more housework than men. I think the solution to this is for mothers today to make sure their daughters AND sons learn equally how to do housework. Not only will that help the mother with housework at the time, but when boys grow up, then they can help their wives and can’t argue that they don’t know how.
Stories from the Sidelines
While I read this essay I realized that all of the examples we have been given by writers discussing the plight of the working mother are talking about women in the business field. I know that this is a large field but I would be interested in reading about a wider variety of careers and how women deal with their jobs and being a mother.
I thought I was interesting to hear from a young woman who does not have children yet but is anticipating this issues that will arise when she does choose to have children. She already feels guilty for not spending more time with her husband, but also feels guilty when she takes time off from work.
A General Strike
I see her argument for paying wages for housework, but I don’t understand where the money would come from. Housework does not generate revenue and it is a perpetual activity that comes with daily living.
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