The Reading “Soldier in a Long White Dress” by Andrea E. Vaccaro details the struggles involved in the fight for same sex marriage. I really appreciated this look into the hurdles that must be passed as a heterosexual I would never have thought about some of the problems Vaccaro encountered. She starts telling her story with an anecdote about going with her father to buy a wedding dress to wear to a protest. She talks about the way that she was immediately assumed to be a heterosexual woman planning a wedding. This assumption is created because in America same-sex marriage is not legal. The only option for same-sex couple is a civil union, which falls short of being equivalent to marriage in many ways. The hardship that must be faced by a young women activist includes oppression from many sides. Vaccaro had to face resistance due to her youth, homosexuality as well as her being a woman. The fact that there is this much opposition makes Vaccaro’s achievements even more outstanding. Her devotion to that cause of same sex marriage began in High School when she headed and Gay Straight alliance group and organized a day of silence. When she went to college she took leadership roles in several activist groups then opened a chapter for Marriage Equality USA in New Jersey. What is really amazing is the perseverance that she displayed even in the face of apathy coming from the surrounding community. It seems that at every turn in this battle there was another surprise making the fight more difficult. The protest rally that she discusses in detail shows how much Vaccaro cared about this topic. She would let nothing stop her from trying to spread the message and gain visibility. It is sad that after this much passion and devotion Vaccaro and her partner had to settle for a civil union rather than a marriage. She discusses the ways in which accepting this is difficult because while it is a celebration of their love by getting a civil union it is in some ways supporting the restrictions against same-sex marriage.
Same-Sex FAQs is a useful document for anyone to read in order to gain some knowledge to have intelligent conversations about the same-sex marriage debate. The list of rights that are enjoyed by married couple that are therefore denied same-sex couples is really eye opening. It is absolutely crazy to think that a couple that has spent there entire lives together would not be able to automatically make medical decisions for their partner or live with them in nursing home. There is no basis on which to claim that Civil Unions are equivalent to marriage. From this document it is apparent that they are just a small concession made by the Government to pacify those who are protesting. Ettelbrick’s article “Since when is marriage a path to liberation” offers many fascinating viewpoints. She starts with the discussing the ways that a desire to marry is reflective of a need to be less of an outsider. As same-sex couples are forced to exist on the edges of society marriage would be a way to feel more accepted. Despite this acceptance Ettelbrick worries that by joining in the institution of marriage gay people and lesbians would be playing into exactly what they have been fighting against. She has a very strong point in arguing that just because she wants her choice to be respected does not mean that she wants to be the same as non-lesbian women. In conclusion she suggests that by focusing on the right to marry lesbians and gays are tricking themselves into believing that marriage will mean respect and equality.
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